Where To Begin!!

I was at work today and was informed I hadn't blogged in awhile. I hadn't realized how long it had been. So this is for you Leah!

So much has been happening in my life that it is kind of hard to find the beginning. God has been doing a lot for me in the last month or so and it has all been amazing. There has been some very difficult times but I am finally seeing the light.

It started at the end of July on our family vacation. I had a sort of panic attack shortly before we left and started seeing a counselor who by the way is the most amazing man I have ever met. He has helped me to really see who I am. Pretty much I pay him $100 an hour (yes I am in the wrong profession) to tell me how wonderful I am and that what I am feeling is okay and (gasp!) normal. I am doing amazingly well although there is still a lot of work to do. My self esteem is still suffering but eventually I hope to have a little of my old self back.

I have had to realize things about myself that I definitely did not want to face. I was ashamed to admit how I felt about my divorce and about the father of my wonderful boys. I know God has a plan for us all and that the man I married was in my life for a reason. Whether it be so I could have my boys or so I could meet people along the way, whatever the reason may be I am so grateful that I went through all that I did. I was ashamed to admit that I still let him control parts of my life but I am finally taking back control. I am freeing myself from his grasp and it is the most freeing thing in the world.

I have been spending a lot of time with God lately and conversing about all the people in my life and what they have meant to me at different times in my life. I have so many wonderful people in my life that surround me in prayer, generosity, friendship and love. So God and I talk about all of you and how I am one of the most blessed people in this world. I have surrounded myself by such positive people that only bring me joy instead of tearing me a part. I thank each and everyone of you for helping me through this part of my life. Everyone of you has been a very significant part of my journey. I thank you from the very depths of my soul for what you have done in my life. I love you all.

P.S. The picture of me above was taken about a year ago and for those of you who know about my weight loss journey I am probably 30lbs lighter. I am about 20lbs away from my goal and so far I have lost 72lbs. Yay! I am almost there.